His Truth, Her Truth and THE Truth.

Marriage counseling can be tricky business sometimes. People come in with the idea that the counselor will be a mediator or negotiator for their arguments. Boy, is that a wrong idea!

One thing I have learned in marriage counseling is that there are three truths: his truth, her truth, and THE truth that lies somewhere in the middle. This reminds me of an old show I watched as a kid in the afternoons called “Gilligan’s Island.” On the island were seven castaways. In one episode, an event happened that each of the castaways experienced. However, when they each retold the story of the event, each story was different. They experienced the event through the lens that they view life. So then the question arises, “Who was telling the truth?” The answer is they all were.

Marriage counseling picThis picture also illustrates the principle of individual or relative truth. Different vantage points of the cylinder produce different views. But, both are right.

To get closer to the truth, we must step away from our own vantage point. To only see things from one perspective is narrow-mindedness at best and ignorance at worst. When we experience another vantage point, you are bound to learn something new about yourself and others in your life. Understanding the different views allows for better resolutions because you have stepped away from your own vantage point, which inherently brings you, closer to the truth.

Philippians 2:1-18 speaks to being more like Christ. If we are to be better (better as people, better in relationships), we must step away from the vantage point that is our fleshly, sinful side, and consider Jesus and his characteristics and sacrifice. In doing so, we come much closer to the Truth.

So, the next time you start to get a little sideways in a discussion with a loved one, take a moment to step away from your own vantage point. Stand next to them in their vantage point to be able to see it fully. The result will inevitably be drawing nearer to the Truth.

If you need some help in learning how to step away from your vantage point to see a different view, or if you want your relationships to be richer and stronger, or you just see a need for counseling in some part of your life, please call the Rush Creek Counseling Center at 817-704-6991 or go online to schedule your initial appointment.

Written by:

Audra Dahl, MA, LPC-S
Professional Counselor